oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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