Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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