youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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