nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize
