well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize