I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
