I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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