dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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