I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
