I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
