Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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