Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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