I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
