I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
