called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
