All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
