At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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