like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
