No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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