check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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