Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
