Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
