i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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