Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
