Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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