never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
