I'm lost and stupid without you.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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