The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
