am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
