she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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