New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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