Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
