I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
