Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Text me some of your sweat
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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