I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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