He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So vagazzling was a success
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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