the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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