there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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