I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
