Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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