Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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