So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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