Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Randomize
