My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
