arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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