my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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