I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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