he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
