i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
