some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
