so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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